Anger and Danger

**fennywest** Fri 15 Jun 2012, 7:43 pm

Anger: Reflect Before You Respond
by Rick Warren

"A rebel shouts in anger; a wise man holds his temper in and cools it." (Proverbs 29:11 TLB)
When you’re angry, don’t respond impulsively. Delay is a great tool in controlling anger. I'm not saying delay indefinitely or even beyond a day; the Bible says don't go to sleep when you're angry. I'm talking about delaying it for five minutes.
When you start to get ticked off, take "time out" for a few minutes. Give yourself some time to reflect and think through the situation. If you don't stop and think, you are likely to do the wrong thing. You need to reflect before you respond.
When we get angry, we need to make a habit of stepping back, waiting a few minutes, and then looking at the situation from God's point of view. Notice how the Bible says a wise man lets his anger cool down (Proverbs 29:11). So, "cool it" is a Biblical term! A modern translation might be: “The wise man waits and chills out.” Thomas Jefferson, the author of the Declaration of Independence, said, “When angry, count to ten before you speak. If very angry, count to one hundred.”
Talk About It
Understanding the reason for your anger will give you greater patience and perhaps even the ability to overlook an offense (Proverbs 19:11). Ask yourself three questions to help you understand why you are angry:
• Why am I angry?
• What do I really want?
• How can I get it?

Release Your Anger Appropriately
by Rick Warren

"If you become angry, do not let your anger lead you into sin …" (Ephesians 4:26a TEV)
There are helpful ways and harmful ways to release your anger. For instance, sometimes we'd rather remain angry than admit our anger. Yet, the Bible says that to be angry and not admit that you are angry is lying — and that's a sin.
Keep in mind: Anger is not necessarily wrong. It only becomes wrong if we release it in a way that is inappropriate or destructive. My experience as a pastor is that most of us learned to express our anger when we were 2 or 3 years old, and we still express our anger in the same way as adults. Needless to say, this simply doesn't work.
Most people express their anger in such a way that they end up farther away from their goal than they were before they became angry. Anger that is expressed inappropriately produces the opposite of your intended results. Blowing up at people never produces lasting change; it only produces more anger and alienation. We know that, but we still do it.
Anger is never really the root problem. Anger is usually a symptom of one of three things: hurt, fear, or frustration. These are the three things that make us angry, and this is why we should always stop and cool down.
Talk About It
Understanding the source of your anger will help you respond in an appropriate manner, so that your anger does not “lead you into sin” (Ephesians 4:26 TEV). When you stop and cool down, ask yourself these questions:
• Am I hurt?
• Am I afraid?
• Do I feel threatened or like I'm going to lose something of value?
• Am I frustrated?